Standing by her coffin at the visitation, one of the things I remember people asking my Dad when my Mom died in 1970, was “What happened, Tony?”  “How did she die?”  Mom died during childbirth of an amniotic fluid embolism – a blood clot.  A rare condition where the amniotic sac is ruptured during delivery […]

Okawville, the small town I call home has had many deaths in the last few weeks. More than normal. One of the traditions our small town carries out through its churches is the Funeral Lunch. After the burial, the mourners are invited to dine together, usually in the church hall. The women’s group of that […]

No matter when our loved one dies, young or old, we grieve. When older people die we acknowledge and can accept the loss a little easier, I think. We express our condolences and know that the person that died has had a long and hopefully, good, life. Most of us can deal with that. When […]

Guilty.  That’s what I am of this “Never Say These Six Things – Well-Meaning but Hurtful Expressions of Sympathy and What to Say and Do Instead” item I’ll talk about in this post.  I’ve often said to a person standing near their loved one in the funeral home or church, “I lost my Mom many […]

  Well, it’s official.  The Heartlinks Grief Center Speakers Bureau has had our inaugural presentation.  Last Saturday, I had the honor to meet with the Family Hospice of Belleville Volunteer Group where I made the first presentation of what we hope will be many in Southwestern Illinois.  The topic was one a lot of you probably cringe […]

Last week Diana Cuddeback, Director of Heartlinks Grief Center and I attended the National Alliance for Grieving Children (NAGC) Annual Conference in San Antonio, Texas. We were privileged to share Heartlinks journey over the last three years in fund development programs and organizational planning with some of the participants. Those attending the conference were professionals […]

Heartlinks Grief Center’s Director, Diana Cuddeback, another volunteer, Mary Woesthaus and I met this week to discuss launching Heartlinks new Speakers Bureau. The purpose of the Speakers Bureau is grounded in Heartlinks’ Strategic Plan Initiative that is aimed at educating the Southwestern Illinois community about grief. The hope is that by opening a dialogue about […]

The movie Inside Out has five animated characters as the main characters. They are the basic emotions – Disgust, Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Joy. The main character is Joy, she runs the show about a 12-year-old girls emotion. Inside Out starts with Joy in charge, trying hard to keep the girl, named Riley, happy all the […]

Mother’s Day has always been a hard day for me.  In We Lost Her, the book I recently authored about my Mom’s traumatic death in 1970, I describe my feelings about that special holiday without her in this way: “Mother’s Days have always been the hardest.  Even once we had our two precious children and […]

Relaxed. A summer afternoon watching the Springfield Cardinals with the kids 30 years ago. My sister Betty and I were chatting away, paying no attention as the kids rooted on the team. Next thing I know, pain rushes through my arm. “What happened?” is screaming in my head. Our son proudly chases the ball that […]