Hope for Easter!
In the last Heartlinks Grief Reflections blog post, I wrote about being happy Spring had finally arrived. Driving through the snow in northern Illinois this weekend, I think I may have been premature in that pronouncement! But, snow or not, Easter will be here in a few days.
Easter doesn’t usually come to mind as a holiday that is especially hard for those grieving. But for some it surely is. Perhaps Easter holds special memories of their loved one, or the date marks his or her passing or birthday. For me, Easter holds a memory from my Mother’s death in 1970. I was 14 and that year in the weeks before Easter I was lost, searching for understanding, trying to make sense of the senseless tragedy. I describe that time in the book I authored on her death, We Lost Her, in this way:
“So, I just went to church and prayed. I asked Jesus to give me the answer to Why Mom died and how we’d go on. I went with Aunt Loretta every Wednesday evening during that Lenten season and went to every service during Holy Week. Surely by Easter I’d have a revelation. I prayed so hard and sometimes couldn’t help crying a little. I sat by myself in our pew on the right-hand side of the church, where Mom and Dad always sat with all of us. The plaster walls were as cold as my heart.”
Long story short, I didn’t get an answer to my prayers by Easter that year, as I’d begged. Instead, I had many more months of pain and despair before hope was restored. Thankfully, my hope slowly was regained and I’ve been growing through my grief journey since.
Along with the joy of rebirth and the Easter celebrations, on Easter each year I remember that year I felt hopeless and am reminded to be grateful for the blessing of hope.
Try as we might to make it, grief doesn’t have a logical, linear timetable to it – healing just doesn’t work that way. If you are grieving or caring about someone who is, acknowledge the simple fact that grief will give no timetable. Understand that some holidays evoke painful as well as joyful memories and work to honor those.
For some specific ideas to help those grieving this Easter, below is a link to a “What’s Your Grief” article. It has many helpful suggestions on two important things to do for all special days – plan and find ways to remember.
https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-and-easter/
Wishing you all a Happy, hope-filled Easter!
Be blessed,
Ellen
Ellen Krohne, author of We Lost Her, available on Amazon.com
Heartlinks Grief Center volunteer and Family Hospice board member
https://www.facebook.com/WeLostHer/
“We Grow Stronger Together”
Thank you for talking so honestly about trying to make sense of grieving! People encourage hope as a cure for grief but finding your own personal hope is a journey of hard work and surprisingly long dark or gray times.
For even younger kids sometimes Easter is confusing because, in the Christian faith, the very most important part of Easter is Jesus rising from the dead. A few years back, at Heartlinks we had a kiddo really confused about why his mom couldn’t rise from the dead. And mad. Very mad. Because she didn’t come back at Easter like he thought she would. Thanks to a compassionate and patient minister and caregivers willing to really listen, this child found his own understanding. Just remember to be open to the stories that our younger grievers are coming up with as they manage their grief journeys.