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“Open your arms to life! Let it strut into your heart in all its messy glory!”
–Deborah Wiles

Can’t We Just Be Kind?

When I spanked my daughter, Joy, for hitting a friend on the playground, I should have realized she was going to be an attorney when she said to me, “How come I can’t hit him, but you can hit me?” with all the fury her three-year-old soul could muster.

I stopped cold, with no answer to why. She really made me examine that question, and I concluded I was wrong to hit her. And I never did again (except that uncontrolled slap when she was thirteen and said she wished I were dead. Which, fortunately, she does not even recall but I’m still ashamed for doing.) I’ve learned so much from my children, and grandchildren, too.

A similar question was raised this week by her son, our nine-year-old grandson, Linc. When the grandchildren are in our home, we let them watch the news with us, which often spurs interesting conversations.

We said our prayers last Wednesday night and when I prayed for all of the people protesting and the police protecting them, Linc looked confused. The next morning, he asked me, “Should we pray for both the police and the protestors, Grandma?”

I thought for a moment, then responded, “What do you think, Linc?”

He thought a moment, then said, “Well, sometimes neither are being kind. The policeman that knelt on that man’s neck, he was not kind. Some of the people are throwing rocks and stealing things. They are not right. Adults like my Mom and Dad and teachers, and you, Grandma, say we should be kind to each other. Why can’t they all just be kind?”

I peered into those innocent nine-year-old eyes. He was just so right, spot on for what the world needs right now. Just be kind.

In the face of all the turmoil in this moment in our history, from Covid 19 and the protests for racial equality, I implore you, for the sake of the generations ahead, please, let’s just be kind to each other. With renewed purpose I am striving to do just that.

Each of us can. One on one. A person at a time. Not just to those grieving a loss or suffering an illness or inequity, but to all we come in contact with in the weeks and months ahead. Let’s just be kind. In our words and thoughts and actions. For our grandchildren and children.

Heartlinks Grief Center provides grief support to all ages, regardless of ability to pay. If you are grieving or know someone who could use assistance on their grief journey, please contact Heartlinks Grief Center at 618-277-1800 or email

Proceeds from the sale of We Lost Her and Heartbroken are donated to help support Heartlinks Grief Center.

Be blessed,


Ellen Krohne We Lost Her, available at this link on Heartbroken, available at this link on

Heartlinks Grief Center volunteer and Family Hospice board member

“We Grow Stronger Together”

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